Can My SpoUSE cut me off Since we are going to divorce?
Ah no! For a variety of reasons, sometimes a spouse thinks, well if we're divorcing s/he can go it alone now. The bank accounts get moved or closed; car or health insurance is cut off; locks on doors are changed; and bills stop being paid.
First, divorce or domestic relations courts are courts of equity. They are to do what is right and fair. So remember this when you're about to change the status quo. You can try and may find the court not only ordering you to restore the status quo, but looking at you skeptically for the rest of the case, and then ordering you to pay it all back and make it right (i.e. that $300 bill you used to always pay and should have continued to pay in December through June is now a $1,800 lump sum payment that is accruing interest).
Second, once a divorce is filed and the other spouse is served, Colorado has a temporary automatic injunction that comes into place, per C.R.S. Section 14-10-107. Think of the temporary automatic injunction as that metal gate that slides down from the medieval castle as the invaders cross the draw bridge. Hopefully your spouse is not acting like that, but it happens. Regarding money earned during your marriage, the temporary automatic injunction prohibits either spouse from transferring, encumbering, concealing, or in any way disposing of any marital property, except as in the ordinary course of business, without the consent of the other spouse or for the necessities of life. Regarding insurance, the temporary automatic injunction requires you to keep insurance in place and paid, unless you've given your spouse at least 14 days notice that insurance is going to be cancelled AND your spouse gives you his or her written consent to shut it off, not pay it, or change the policy coverage or beneficiary designations. This applies to all kinds of insurance from health, renter's, and life insurance, nor can you change your beneficiary listings from your wife to your new squeeze. Not cool. You will get in trouble for it.
I used to struggle with drugs and alcohol but i'm a good parent now.
First, that you've changed and quit is awesome. Overcoming such obstacles no doubt makes you a better human being and maybe even better parent in the long run.
Second, you've heard of attorney-client privilege. This is the kind of information that you share with your attorney in the first meeting, especially if you have an angry spouse. A spouse may try to make you look dangerous or unfit, and if there is nothing to it, fine, but let your attorney know anyways, out of an abundance of caution. Then follow the advice or requests to prepare you case to meet the untrue allegations. Alternatively, if you actually did use and abuse alcohol or drugs, again let your attorney know. This is not information that she should be hearing for the first time in court. If you tell your attorney now, counsel can get ahead of it, and demonstrate that your past is strength not a weakness, and that it is no longer a concern.
Be honest with your attorney about the facts of the prior use/abuse, this allows her to know not only how to protect you at the various stages of the case, but also where the other party and other attorney is coming from. You may have been a crappy parent for the first 3 years of your child's life. If that is the reality, and you know this, while it does not and should not mean that you can't be an equal parent eventually, if you've only had 1 year of sober living, it is realistic to expect the your spouse, and the court, to trust but verify that you are currently on-track. The court's primary concern is not what is fair between the spouses, but what is in the best interests of the children.
On the flip side, if you're the parent with legitimate concerns about your child's welfare, share this immediately with your attorney. You should not send you child to the other parent, hoping s/he will remember to put your kid in the car seat, not text while driving, remember your child's medication, or not get high while s/he is having parenting time. Your duty as a parent is to protect your kids. So tell your attorney right away so that she can get necessary protective measures in place.
Is this a 50/50 Property state
Colorado is an equitable property state, and will divide marital property equitably, which might 50/50 or, in some cases, 85/15. Equitable division is a case-by-case, fact specific inquiry. That said, if you've been married for a long time, an equal property settlement may be realistic and is what the court oftentimes does.
The fact that your spouse cheated on you, however, is not part the court's concern, nor is it necessarily relevant as to how property should be equitably divided. Unless the affair has affected your bank accounts (appreciably, not a few bouquets, which is likely de minimus) it does not matter to our judicial officers that one spouse cheated. Where a spouse is wasting marital funds on a lover or addiction, however, is relevant.